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Coping with the Estrangement of an Adult Child

 

Joys of Parenting

A parent’s love is unique. It is the purest love that one can ever experience. This type of love is a double-edged sword. When your children are young they are excited to see you, invite you into their world, make you part of their friend group it can be the greatest joy one can ever experience. Usually, must of us can experience this joy when children are young. However, as children become teenagers and young adults, sometimes parent’s are not ready for the emotional roller coaster that can arise.

 

Separation

As most of us know adolescents and young adults rebel or leave home as a way of separating from the family. It is healthy for children to leave home or rebel to some extent as a way of separation and becoming their own person. Some parents have to wait a few years, and the relationship returns as parent and adult child.

When Separation turns to Estrangement


The most difficult for a parent is when a child acts out dangerous ways or rejects the parent altogether. The pain can cut like a knife. The loss of a child can be a pain that seems that it will go on forever. Ln addition to the excruciating pain, guilt, and shame tend to follow. What could I have done to warrant my child cutting me off? Some parents are at a loss and some adult children distance themselves without reason.

Coping with the Estrangement of An Adult Child

It is worth taking a looking within to see what might have gone wrong. What you might have done differently and even apologizing to your child if you have a chance. There are many times parents cannot figure what has happened. Coping with pain is very difficult. It is like going through a grieving process of the loss of a child, which is one of the most difficult processes that a parent can endure.

Resources- Facebook Groups

Parents of Estranged Adult Children

https://www.facebook.com/groups/225104114672108/

Support Page for Parents of Adult Estranged Children

https://www.facebook.com/Support-Page-for-Parents-of-Adult-Estranged-Children-217524848284227/

Parents of Estranged Adult Children Moving Forward

https://www.facebook.com/groups/LifeafterEstrangement

Help & Healing for Parents of Estranged Adult Children

https://www.facebook.com/rejectedparents/

 

   Book Review

 

Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children By McGregor M.A

Ms. Mc Gregor has a masters degree in human behavior. She is a Life Coach and prolific writer. Done with the Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children offer relief for mothers dealing with the loss and emptiness of the rejection of an Adult Child. It is hard to believe that anything can help!

Ms. Mc Gregor offers nurturing, support, encouragement, and resources to help parents begin to move beyond the emptiness and continue with some joy in their lives. It is an important book to deal with the pain of this loss.

This healing book has received 4.6 stars out of 5 making it a quality read.

                  Pros                                                                              Cons
      •   Offers coping skills                                                 Some Repetition
      • Allows Parents to Move at Their Own Pace                  Can Be Perceived as
      • Helps Parents Understand Possible Reasons                Scattered
      • A Good Book when Feeling Down
      • Help with Future Planning


Comments 2

  • Do you know the difference between estrangement and Parental Alienation?

  • Hi Caron,
    Thank you for the good question. Parent Alienation usually refers to minor children whose parents are separated or divorced. in these situation one parent isolates the children by using derogatory words or actions against the other parent.Dependent upon the age, personality, issues struggling with loyalty or quilt about feelings about both parent, the child can join with the parent who feels so negatively about the other.The minor child can begin to refuse to see the other parent. Family courts try to intervene and frown upon this behavior but the result can be the child total refusal to see the parent which is estrangement.
    Child estrangement usually involves an adult child who has decided to disengage from one parent or both parents. Sometimes this can be related to difficult or abusive situations which occured between the parent and adult child throughout the individuals childhood. However,in many situations there has not been any abuse or major problem in childhood. However,the Adult Child, possibly for historical parental alienation, or their perception of one or both parents refuses to be involved with the parents and totally disengages. I hope that answers the question. If you have any other comments please feel free to write. Thank you. Karen Chambre

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